Try prayer it works

those are famous lines isnt it? well... it really works in me...

in every thing i've done i alway lift it up to God, i prayed. and hey! it works. i mean i know prayer alone is not enough, you still need to do your part too...

anyway, i've been in a state of confusion. i am confuse how i felt.

you see, there's this boy (yeah boy not a guy) i saw him cute the first thing i've seen him. thats all, but then... a year after, he profess his feelings to me. i was shock of course.

i told him he need to think about things. what if it was only infatuation right? so he think it over.

aarrghh! in short i wasnt aware that i have a crush on him.. hahahahaha...

but oh boy! i still need to pray it over, cause i have so many apprehension. need to think it over before jumping into conclusion.

I lose 2kgs in 5 days...

yeah... you read it right... within five days i lose two (2) kilos. before my weight is 39 kilos and after 5 days now im 37 kilos....

how i do it?? let me tell you what i've done within five days....

day1:saturday... i woke up 2 in the morning to prepare for my first flight to cagayan de oro... the flight was great (for the first timer).... i met my friends at domestic airport...we arrive at cagayan de oro about 6:45 in the morning... from there i met the person whom my officemate contacted for me....

we travel for more or less four (4) hours from Cagayan de Oro airport to Tubod Lanao Del NOrte...

revo lang po yun.... and 14 kami... imagine... four people in front (including 2 drivers)... then vivs and mike.... in the middle are tzi, hann, deng and lino...

now... at the back.... row sa left bec, shevey and lian... sa harap nila kami... si lea, nenz, at ako...

can you imagine that? hahahahahaha... long drive yun... nagkasya kami.... well... tapos may baggage pa... hehehehe... uummm.. may top load naman... hehehehe...

we check inn at DR Inn... then after that we travel to MCC (Mindanao Civic Center) kung saan ang venue ng ILC namin (INternational Leaders COnference) almost lunch time na when we got there...

in short... we spend our time there... i attended the workshop Deal or No Deal knowing Gods Gift.

nung nasa workshop na ako.... tumawag saken si mike sinabi niya napupunta sila sa DR Inn.. so in short naiwan ako... i thought i was the only one left... but after about two hours i saw lian outside... so the two of us loitter... food trip and other stuffs...

yung iba kong mga kasama is nakatulog at nakaligo pa... pero kami ni lian walang panahong matulog pa...

so in the end of the day we are tired.... i remember i fell asleep for session 3: Lamentations... hahahahahaha....

all of us went back at DR Inn about 2 am... and... naligo na ako para bukas ndi na ako makikipag unahang maligo sa kanila... so is lian...

day2: Woke up around 5am... ginising ko din si lian... kasi aayusin na rin namin ang gamit namin... sasama na namin sa MCC dahil diretso na kaming puntang Bukidnon... so hilamos... toothbrush.. palit damit lang ang ginawa namin... dinala na namin yung mga bag namin... ung bag ko na sinasabi nila na mas malaki pa sa akin hehehehehehehe...

hinahabol kasi namin yung mass e... so nung pagdating namin dun... nagalmusal lang kami sponsored by chowking.. hehehehehe then punta na kaming arena... dahil dun ang mass...

to make it short.. the mass has ended and there are some sharers din.. napaiyak pa nga ako sa isang sharer dun e... ndi ko mapigilan yugn iyak ko...

then we hurriedly get our lunch kasi yung bus e aalis ng 11am... well luckily we got there before 11 am but the bus left aroung 12:30... >_<>

we travel for about 4 hours.. then tambay kami sa SM Cagayan de oro kasi wait pa namin ung sasakyan na magdadala samin sa Bukidnon.. Elf siya and pagaari ni tito chris... bayaw ni tita len.

i dunno kung ilang kami at paano kami nagkasya sa elf e.. pero may revo pa din naman... hehehehehe

we stop at foot bath, del monte bukidnon, the view deck there, GK Sites, and we stop para kumain ng dinner... we arrived at valencia around.... 12am... then we need to sleep pa kasi may mag itinerary pa kami tom (aba siyempre di ba kahit papaano beauty rest kami) sa bahay ni kuya (thats what we call it) ang mga kasma ko is puro girls... namely, shevey, lea, rhia, bennie, lian, vivs, bec, hann and nenz.

day3: umalis na si lea kahit na anong pilit naming magpachange ng flight at kahit na gusto niyang sumama saming magcaving ndi pa ren siya nagpapigil.. hhaayyyzzz.... then ginawa namin ang advice ni tita na wag ng maligo dahil after caving ay maliligo din naman kami so nagbitbit na kami ng pampaligo... nagdala sila tita ng breakfast namin and after breakfast hinatid nila si lea sa terminal ng bus.

meanwhile kami ay pumunta kina tito chris... about 11am umalis na kami. fill up kami ng waiver ata yun... courtesy call ba.. hahahahahahaha...

ang layo ng travel namin! as in yung bangin sa baguio?? wala yun! yung mga scenery dun?? walang wala yun!

then... ung mga matataas na lugar/daan dun? wala yun.. may instance na pinabababa kami sa elf kasi ndi kami kaya... yung last e yung 65 degrees ata yun so we have to walk.. we dont have any choice...

we stop by sa isang barangay dun... then from there.. inayos na ng mga guide ang mga hardhat namin nilagyan nila ng flashilight.. then kumain kami ng suman...

i ask kung magkano yung suman... would you believe it only cost 1 peso?!

ng matapos na.. diretso na kami sa cave... we ate lunch near the cave... badtrip lang may naghahanap ba naman ng spoon and fork so nasabi ko tuloy na.. "ay naku! wala ng panahon para maginarte"... and narinig pala siya ni tito hb (herbert) and he laughed at me...

after lunch we prepare ourselves para makapunta sa cave.... lakad pa kami sa mga masusukal an daan at sa kanan mo ay bangin... muntik pa nga akong madulas on the way sa cave pero nakahawak ako sa sangang matinik... kaya ayun.. simula pa lang injured na ako... habang naglalakad ay nagttanggal ng tinik sa daliri...

ng marating na namin ang cave.... they divided the group... each group should have 5 members... but in our group we only have 3... i, lian and bec...group by group we entered the cave....

to make the caving short... lahat na yata ng klaseng lakad nagawa namin... sideways, ordinary lakad, nakayuko, gumapang na parang baby, parang crab at gapang patihaya. ang water dun ay parang nagdeprose ka sa ref... may mababaw at may sobrang lalim na they have to use rope para makatawid lahat.

the higlight of the caving: in order for you to get out of the cave you have to rappel upwards...

while one of the guide tried his best na pigilan ang water to pour down habang may umaakyat... ang mga girls ay nagrappel ng may harness while guys didnt.

masyado na akong naiinip at gusto ko ng umakyat kasi sobrang lamig na... you can see smoke coming out of your body... the heat of your body is going down...

so i decided to rappel without the harness... i was disappointed when they said we need to go some obstacle pa para makalabas... kala ko kasi last na ang rappel e...

kailangan pa naming lumakad pa side ways para makalabas sa napakaliit na butas na yun! the one at your back is bato na and sa harap mo.. super up close and personal about 5 inch ang layo sayo e bato na ren... outside i can hear the others voice... they seemed to be happy... and sa tingin ko yun na ang labas.... so ayun... but then again.... na disappoint ako.. ndi pa pala...

to make it short... nakalabas din kami after ng makipot na daan na un mga 1 hour pa kaming naglakbay... takip silim na ng makalabas kami...

so trekking naman ang ginawa namin... na injure si lian so i have to stay with her kasi ako yung household head niya e.... nasisi ko ang sarili ko kasi ako dapat nasa unahan niya but i leave my position.

9pm na kami nakabalik kina tito rod at tita jovit.... with the help of taong bayan....
hinatid namin yung iba kina tito hb at pinababa kami para mag pray... after ng prayers... napaiyak halos lahat.

we ate our dinner kina tita len.. dun e tinatawanan na lang namin ang mga sarili namin and we cant imagine we survive cave luwao.

day4: we woke up mga 7 na ata tapos naglaba pa kami ng ibang damit kasi puro putik na ang mga damit namin.. pati mga sapatos...

umalis kami ng bandang 10 para mag almusal kina tita len.. dun kinuwento ni tito chris na kaya pala pinapatay ung lights nung nagtetrekking na kami kasi ndi nila alam kung mga npa ba yun... at yung ibang malalalim na tubig dun sa cave may current sa ilalim at kapag naanod ka ay sa ibang cave na ang labas mo... but bumilib siya samen.. dahil kami na daw ang may pinakamabilis na lumabas dun na ganung karami.. 33 kami lahat at halos mga babae pa... walang umiyak... walang nag freak out.... nagtutulung tulungan...

he said that the moral story there... as a leader... kami halos lahat kami ay household head and up... we have to stay alert.. be calm... kasi kami ang nagbibigay ng instructions e... so kapag mali ang instructions mo sa ibang kasama mo... sa susunod sayo (kasi po may info pass mo sa cave e) madidisgrasya siya...

isa lang dapat ang voice na pakikinggan mo (sa rappelling po kasi madaming voice kang maririnig) and that is the voice of GOD... pero ikaw pa ren ang gagawa ng diskarte para maiangat mo sarili mo.

afterwards pumunta kami sa monastery of tranfiguration... ndi kami naligo kasi magsiswimming pa kami e..hehehehehe
yang picture na yan.. yan ang simbahan dun.. nakakatuwa nga e... kasi lumapit samin yung guard and told us na huwag maingay kasi nagdadasal ang mga monk.. so we have to whisper...

sabi tuloy ni tita len "ang sabi e huwag maingay. wag naman kayong magbulungan"

so we took a lots of pictures there here are some of it:

this was mike para lang siyang nagsasun bathing no? hehehehehe... kasi naman talaga namang napaka relaxing ng environment dun... hahanga ka sa mga makikita mong scenery dun.

while this one... isa sa mga nakahandang butas dun sa monastery.. ndi namin alam kung para saan yun.. but mike gave us an idea... so we used it as a props sa picture na ito.. hehehehehe

maganda naman ang kinalabasan... eheheehhe.. para siyang painting.. lam nio yun? yung may man... ndi ko lang alam kung anong title nung painting na yun... it was mike and demboy's version.

then after this trip bumili kami ng konting pasalubong and we went back na sa bahay nila tita len para maglunch...

we went sa gk sites din and here are some pictures:
GK Robinhood kung tawagin nila.. may story yun e... ndi ko lang narinig kung ano yun hehehehehehe..

then we went to lake apo... it was awesome! parang... ewan ko.. kakaiba talaga... and pagbaba pa namin... may ngbenta ng banana que... 3 pesos each! ang mura! grabe!

i took my cellphone off and take some pictures of the well blessed lake apo.
this is lake apo by day... namamangka pa kami jan at 100 lang ang rent sa raft... nung una natatakot ako... kasi ndi ako sanay.. but later... nasanay na ren ako and i enjoy the scenery there...
worth it naman ang paglalagi mo dun sa gitna ng lake apo... maganda sana kung may pagkain ka pa habang nanduduon ka... si shevey nga e gumagawa ng documentary dun... na video ni tito rod at sana mapanood ko ang mga iyon

this one is a silhouette of my sisters in Christ... sabi nila against sa light daw yung pagkuha ko sa cellphone ko... pero natuwa ako sa kinalabasan... hmmm.... kaya wag na ninyo akong hanapin sa picture na yan hehehehehe and there still more..

sunset in lake apo.... in the middle of lake apo yan ha... hehehehehehe and this one another

sunset at lake apo... by the shore... hehehehe wala lang natuwa lang kasi ako... and a bit disappointed... kaya nga gustong gusto ko ng magkaroon ng digicam so i can bring it with me so nagtiyaga lang ako sa cellphone ko.. and hindi naman ako binigo di ba?

after these breath taking scenery... we went swmming! ang entrance... 40 pesos! ahahahahaha.. then by 7:30pm umuwi na kami para magdinner..then sleep na kami

day5: nag mass kami sa monastery... then we went back para mag breakfast sa haws nila tita len and umuwi na kami...

this is the day when we woke up to our dream... a day when we live the paradise called bukidnon... a day when we all back to reality.. back to the big bad world...

so... i dunno know if those things can help you lose weight... but it did work for me.. try it... you wouldnt regret it... ^_~

my once said pain...

a friend of my ex called me... he said its so unfair for my ex....

i just wondering... isnt it he's the one who's being unfair??

i mean... ever since our relationship began.... its been unfair to me...

want to know few?

1. i want to break up with him but he refuse but when he was the one who's breaking up even do i refuse.... does he listen to me?

2. i understand him in everything he do... support him... but does he didnt do the same thing...

3. i fill up his weaknesses... but he didnt

4. he doesnt care, doesnt appreaciate...

5. when bad times occur... hes gone

6. im the only one whos trying to save our relationship

7. im the only one who live in reality

8. more bad times than good times

9. if there's a problem i want to talk it out but he wont give me a chance

10. im the one whos setting our date... im the one whos working things out.

do i have to continue??? things is not like the way they think... i mean... does his friend ever see us? or witness how he behave with me when things go wrong???

i think... the one whos being unfair here is him....

i only said my pain to my ex once... just once and now... he said im being unfair???

ssheeessshhhh..... im not mad... im just... disappointed... i thought hes the one who understand me... but i guess i was wrong....

when will you start?

when will you start notice me?
or even look at me with fondness...
i hope it wont be long
cause i am waiting for so long.

when will you start to care for me?
or love me the way i love you...
i hope it wont be long
cause i am waiting for so long.

when will you start lean on me?
and say that you need me
i hope it wont be long
cause i need you in my life.

when will you start to realize
that i exist in your life
i hope it wont be long
cause i'll left this world soon....

Last Christmas

Have you heard the song "Last Christmas" if im not mistaking WHAM was the one who sang it...

I'm playing Giza a moment ago and suddenly i heard this song (im playing christmas song sa media player) then a line catchd my attention and made me laugh....

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away....

hahahahaha...it remind me about my past... yeah.. the past.... way back then i was sad.. all i can feel was pain but now i laugh at myself why i did that... hahahahaha

and just like the song goes...

This year to save me from tears
I give it to someone special....

yeah, it is true that experience is the best teacher... but i tell you.. you dont have to experience it to learn from it... you can hear it from your friend... and from then you can learn...

there's lot of things happen.. some can made you cry and you wouldnt even know that you made fool of yourself.. but as you remember it.... you will end up laughing to the things you've done and realize how fool you are...

well... enjoy everybody and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

LAST CHRISTMAS

Chorus:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby do you recognise me?
Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

(Happy Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I Love You" I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again

Chorus

(Oooh. Oooh Baby)

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Oooh Oooh
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

Chorus

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
(Gave you my heart)
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Next year
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
special
someone
someone
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
who'll give me something in return
I'll give it to someone
hold my heart and watch it burn
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
I've got you here to stay
I can love you for a day
I thought you were someone special
gave you my heart
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone
last christmas I gave you my heart
you gave it away
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone

im back!

yes, after a long time im still alive and kicking! hehehehehehe! its been ages... isnt it?

o well.... i met this guy at the party... he's soft spoken (perhaps its only human nature to be a soft spoken at the first time you met someone)... i like the way he smile... >_< hehehehehehe...

at first.. i didnt noticed him... cause i am busy in that party.... but when i have a chance to take a break and sit beside a friend of mine... i started to notice him. hes alone and i talked to him and asked him if he's alright and havign fun... he said yes he is... and he introduce himself and so do i... i introduced him to my other friends near me.

hahahahaha.. he really is cute... i think i have a crush on him... but beyond that... i dunno... hahahahahaha!

o well.... till here

four days living in the dark

this was taken at MIA ROAD.... i took this shot on my way at office... a day after the typhoon...











hhaaayyy.. milenyo.. masdan ang ginawa mo...

for the past for days... i've experience living in the dark... (literally speaking)...

thursday, when PAGASA declared cavite as signal number 3 kasi po duon dadaan si milenyo...

hindi na ako pumasok nun... kasi sabi ni mama e (masunuring bata ako e)

then.. brownout... no.. blackout pala...

for four days.. para akong namuhay sa pilipinas nuong unang panahon.... wala kuryente... walang tubig... kandila lang ang tanging tanglaw ng bawat bahay sa gabi. mainit, malamok, malagkit ang pakiramdam ko kasi naman sa pawis at ndi makapag hilamos sa gabi dahil bawat patak ng tubig ay mahalaga...

kapag naliligo ako... kailangan ko pang sumakay sa batcha para yung pinagliguan ko ay maipon at maipang buhos sa banyo...

kailangan mo pang magigib para may magamit ka lang... sa panligo at sa iba pang bagay.. hhaaayyy...

parang nagpanic din ang mga tao... and haba ng pila sa mga atm, at sa grocery.. yung ibang atm naman nag offline na...

nung pumasok ako nung friday... parang walang nangyari... as if walang bagyong dumating... malalaman mo lang kapag nag observe ka sa paligid mo... ang mga puno, nagsitumbahan, ang mga billboard nagbagsakan.. may mga shot akong nakuha sa mga billboard na yun..



Billboard of Pancake House collapsed... i took this photo a day after the typhoon on my way to office... this was located at MANTRADE... as you can see a public bus was crashed....

according to some people this bus have passenger and 22 of them got injured... luckily nobody died in the accident..






hhhaayyy.. ang daming namatay, ang daming nasalanta... milenyo o milenyo... bakit mo nagawa sa amin ito? ito ba ay isang hagupit ng isang kalikasan... ng kalikasan na minsan ng inalipusta at binababoy nting mga tao.... hagupit ni inang kalikasan na nagpapahiwatig na kapag siya ang gumanti walang magagawa ang mga tao... kaya dapat ayusin at pahalagahan ng mga tao ang kalikasan...



a closer look for the bus...











para tuloy nakikini kinita ko na yung series sa national geographic channel na napanood ko... EARTH: THE MOST DEADLIEST PLACE....

hhhaayyy... sa pagdating ni nene... sana naman... maging handa na ang lahat ng tao.. at nene... huwag mo namang masyadong hagupitin ang bansang pilipinas.

whats with it?

"im glad you found him.. and to hear that you move on"

our friend (my ex and i) told this to me last time when we have a little chat... he mistook the title of my blog, pictures and other stuff that i already have a bf...

i told everything... but there is one thing i haevnt told him...

having someone to be by yourside or having a new boyfriend doesnt mean that i already move on...

to tell everyone the truth... i dont want to have a new guy in my life... but that doesnt mean that i cant move on... its just that i need to prepare myself first...

for me.. having a new guy in life after a break up will not end well...

lalabas lang na panakip butas yung guy.. shock absorber... and it wasnt good... using people and playing with their emotions was bad.

if i do that im just like my ex.. dont you think?

so... i want to be fully recovered... and when that time comes... i can give my heart... my whole heart to that guy.

oedipus and electra complex

o well... i dunno why im writing or why i suddenly write a blog about this...

o well.. to go further about this topic.. (panindigan ko na nga) some of us have an oedipus and electra complex....

not really to the extent that you gonna kill you father/mother because you love your mother/father that much...

in modern days, i can say the people have an oedipus/electra complex cause they admire their mother/father so much and somehow they are looking for someone who can fit to their parent's personality...

when i was young.... i also admire my father for his determination and how he handle things... i even want to marry someone like him... but as i go on to this life... i realize that i can never find someone like him cause he is unique and one of a kind... i can never find exactly like him... so i quit...

now i look up not only to my father but also to my mother as a model... as an idol... i want to grow up like my mama and my papa...

so to those who are looking for a partner who like their partner as their mother or father well... goodluck to you...

i wish in near future you wouldn't have a problem with your partner... cause if you want someone to be someone... well, that will be rude... cause your missing the capability of that person, his/her unique personality.

so you better stop it... it isnt nice.... just look up to you parents as a model...

love the person who he/she is not because you see someone to her/him... isnt that sweet? ^_^

i cant find a song... instead ill put the lyrics here... hoping this will help to understand what im trying to say...


LOVE ME FOR WHAT I AM
BY: CARPENTERS


We fell in love

On the first night that we met

Together

We've been happy

I have very few regrets

The ordinary problems

Have not been hard to face

But lately little changes

Have been slowly taking place

You're always finding something

Is wrong in what I do

But you can't rearrange my life

Because it pleases you



(*) You've got lo love me

For what I am

For simply being me

Don't love me

For what you intend

Or hope that I will be

And if you're only using me

To feed your fantasy

You're really not in love

So let me go

I must be free



If what you want

Isn't natural for me

I won't pretend to keep you

What I am I have to be

The picture of perfection

Is only on your mind

For all your expectations

Love can never be designed

We either take each other

For everything we are

Or leave the life

We've made behind

And make another start



Repeat (*)



And if you're only using me

To feed your fantasy

You're really not in love

So let me go

I must be free



You're really not in love

So let me go

I must be free

me... at subic?

my boss asked me after i finished my one month stay here at baguio aritao project... he will assign me at subic...

so i'll stay at subic if im not mistaken... nweiz, this is much better than bohol... i can go home every weekend... and besides... i think i need a new environment...

all i can do now is to wait till he says it to me again..

honey we've done it...

dapat magsusulat ako nung sunday, kaso dala ng puyat... ndi ko nagawa... dapat naman kahapon.. dala ng katamaran kaya ndi ko ginawa...

hhhmm... after weeks of practice and sacrifices, nagbunga din ang aming pinaghirapan.... north sector won first place in band and dance competition while pnpa got the title "champion".

they are good... no... good was not the right word to say... at that night they are the best.. from video to band to dance... no wonder they won....

anyway, i am happy how the competition turned out.... happy and fruitfull...

all i can say is... Honey! we did it! We Won First Place and this is all for you!



For SFC Cavite North Congratulations! OMEDATTO!!!!

i have the ace of heart

i still have the ace of heart so i wont fall dont and cry for the love i've lost...

anyway, no matter how many times i've red a book about relationship, no matter how i see and hear some difficulties in relationship and how they overcome it, no matter how people help me to stand up again, to cheer me up but i wont do it on myself, and lack of will to do it then it will be nothing...

i have to apply all the lesson i've learned through this.... apply and be wise this time.

the king of heart will find me.... he will...

honey... im tired...

o yeah.. im tired... and i dont have enought sleep...

we've been praticing for our dance number for this coming singles night event... yeah its a competition and i feel a little pressured about it...



we will be very busy this week 'cause the event will be this saturday.



it was so fun though and i know after this event bihira na naman kami magkikita kita.. >_<



o men... then there's conflict... last satruday... my mama scolded me... for coming home late... 1am in the morning... because of our practice... i cant reason out to her cause i know im wrong...



nobody is here to blame cause i know that everyone want to perfect the dance... but i want them or i want all of us to be considerate... since the place was so far to our place... and we started so late... i want everyone to be punctual...



we also need to think about our parents who patiently waited for us at home...



so there... all i can say is...



HONEY! IM DEAD TIRED! BUT I AM HAPPY CAUSE IT IS FOR YOU!

my legs are aching....

its been two nights now since i started to practice for our dance practice... >_< and now... my legs are aching...

i feel a little pressure when bok told us that we have to depend our title for being a champion last year...

aaawww man! the beat was too fast and i hope i can catch up with it... cause if i dont... then it will be too late for me... i may not gonna pick as a dancer (whoa! did i say dancer?!)

anyway... hope i our effort and hardship will have a good result...

oh! we will perform that dance number on single's night... yahoo!!!

wish us luck!

this is the day...

there are lot of things happen to me this last few days... a shocking revelation / issue...

a unimaginary situation... and unpredictable things happened...

last week ive got a chance to talked to my friend... he informed that my x break up with his girlfriend...

honestly speaking.. there's part of me.. saying "buti nga sayo".. the more i felt now was... pity...

i pity my x... yeah.. ive been talking about karma lately... and i think what happened to him was too much...

then last night... ive got a chance to talk to him...

my first approached was "i dont know anything approach" but when he said that his bestfriend told him that we have a conversation... then all i do was to spill it out...

he' doin' fine (thats what he said) but funny... i feel a burden.. i can feel his pain... and my pain too...

but i have to tell him something... i gave him advices... lots of advice.

then morning came... i got a chance to talked to his girl... but the girl didnt opened up anything she just said she want to say hello to me... and other stuff like she's very busy...

oh men! how can i avoid them? no matter what i do to avoid them... it seems that... they are... they can still find a away to get near me...

how ironic isnt it? so... i decided not to runaway or hide from them... i have to face them.. cause sooner or later... we will face each other... maybe not now... but perhaps in the near future.

things will gonna be work out just fine... i know it will

a letter for GOD...

dear GOD,

i know i've been talking about "karma" this past few days... i know in some way... he deserved that... and he was paying the consequences for the wrong thing he has done...


but GOD, please help him... help him to heal his heart... heal his memory... heal him LORD JESUS CHRIST... as you healed me.


i know he's not that good person but what happen to him was totally... i think its too much...


help him to learn his lesson... i know everything happen for a reason...

and for this girl LORD GOD.... i dont know what or who she really is.... i dont know why she've done those things... but please o GOD, help her too... to analyze and let her know what she've done were wrong....

help both of them to heal... to forgive...

i leave the rest to your hand GOD...

In JESUS NAME... AMEN...

TROPANG OP

last night... we had a household at our unit head's place...

the topic for discussion was soo cool...

its about friendship....

and here are the words...




SIRACH 6:5-17

² A kind mouth multiplies friends, and gracious lips prompt friendly greetings.

6

Let your acquaintances be many, but one in a thousand your confidant.

7

When you gain a friend, first test him, and be not too ready to trust him

8

For one sort of friend is a friend when it suits him, but he will not be with you in time of distress.

9

Another is a friend who becomes an enemy, and tells of the quarrel to your shame.

10

Another is a friend, a boon companion, who will not be with you when sorrow comes.

11

When things go well, he is your other self, and lords it over your servants;

12

But if you are brought low, he turns against you and avoids meeting you.

13

Keep away from your enemies; be on your guard with your friends.

14

A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure.

15

A faithful friend is beyond price, no sum can balance his worth.

16

A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy, such as he who fears God finds;

17

For he who fears God behaves accordingly, and his friend will be like himself.

well... well.. well.... i can say that i already met those kind of people... for all those years i've met different kind of person....


some they befriend you because they need something from you....

but i can say.... i really do find a true friends.... not just i have my parents and my brother and sister... i also have "tropang op" to support me all the way... although we dont see that much... talk that much, text that much... all of us know... deep within our heart that we are friends...

we do give advices to those who need it... but the person who have that problem was still the last one to decide...

"do what makes you happy" our tropa's motto...

we stay beside them.... not behind... not in front of them... but beside them...

and... i will treasure... and i appreciate all those memories and friendship we had....

i am so blessed to have a friends like them... i really am blessed

the power of three...

"the power of three will set us free" - the charmed one



for me... the so-called power of three is "dont do to others what you dont want to do unto you"

if you do things bad to other people.... this will bounce back to you three times worst than you've done...

same goes if it is good.....


so... thats the reason why..... i stop cursing people... i stop taking a revenge....


yes i admit i am in pain... that the reason why i am writing this nga e....


yes i admit i am mad.... to both of them...

when i was in retreat.... our last talk.... our last speaker rather.... red a bible verse in psalm stating like this...


it is alright to get angry but dont sin....


so as long as i dont sin.... or i dont let my anger eat me up.... it was alright pa pala....

im not gonna kill them naman e....


all i want is for them to realize how bad they did to me... and... i hope they can be happy...


i hope.... they can really eb together.... forever....


i'll let my pain, my anger subside... but now.... i dont want to talk to them... to have a information about them or anything i would hear about those two....

although.... medyo ok na ako... at ndi na ako gaanong nasasaktan... pero i want to FULLY RECOVER for that incident.... i want a fully recover.... in mind... in heart.... in myself... i want my confindence back.... my self-esteem...trust to other people and to myself....


i want that back.... the damage has been done.... and there's no room for to cry for it and to undo things.... all i can do is....

to heal myself....

a vision of you...

yes you.... while i was waiting for my computer... i decided to sketch a little... one, two, three sketch was fine.... i've made a three sketch...

i take a rest... then... i hold my mongol pencil and once again grab my scratch paper.... i decided to sketch again....

i started in his eyes.... then... his brow.... his lips... shape of his face.... when suddenly i stopped....

i stare to his eyes.... i think i've seen these eyes before... (i thought)

then... i dropped my pencil....

after a few years.... i decided to draw a portrait again... but the portrait i draw this time.... was the portrait of him.....


yes.... him... my lost love.... now... where's the portrait? i trew it in trash bin... it doesnt mean that im weak....


i just want to move on...

a door and a window

truly i tell you... if someone closes door for you... definitely... someone will open a window for you kasi chismosa siya at inaalam niya kung ano ang nangyar sayo ... waheheheh just kidding...

nope really, if you feel like you are left standing outside the door... because someonel closed its door for you.... someone will open a window for you...

oh! hiw redundant i am.... oh well... so what will you do?

will you stay outside?

or

will you grab that opportunity.. you will jump in?

that may be a tough question isnt it? cause you will never know what IS INSIDE. or what's gonna happen to you after you jump in?

i tell you... you will never know... unless you try... and if ever... you find yourself outside again....

think about the reasons why.... perhaps there is something you need to understand and you need to find out....

sometimes, you have to be sensitive in other people's need...

and... everything happens for a reason.

time is chance as a friend of mine told me.... so better grab the chance or the opportunity you have...

pain is part of being human.... part of being alive.... dont cry cause it is over.... smile... cause it happened.